Going back to France to get my heart
Iar n-am scris de mult timp dar am o sfanta scuza: licentza…examene…si o leneeeeeeee da o lene de ma doare. In fine…
Azi m-am apucat sa imi fac curat prin mail-urile din Facebook (Holy Facebook- nush ce m-as face fara el) si am dat peste mailuri de azi-vara, de azi-primavara de bla bla bla….Diana si Patricia stiu despre ce mailuri vorbesc…alea in 3 š dar si alea in doua in special alea in care ele erau in Romania si eu la 2188 de km mai la vest. Si citeam eu ca tot omul si la un moment dat ma paleste….bah eu am uitat ceva in Franta! Mi-am uitat acolo inimioara…si de acum iar o sa inceapa linger-ul ala in care mancarea nu mai are gust, barbatii sunt porci si oricine ma calca pe nervi.
De fapt in ultimele luni a fost o stare de acalmie in care am trait insa cum vine vara cum ma mananca in talpa sa plec iar. Dar nu in Irlanda…nu in Anglia…nu in Belgia…nu in Spania etc…in Franta (incep sa cred ca am un fetis). Nu o sa ma intorc tot unde am fost, ci in mod sigur in alta parte a tarii unde e foarte ok sa bei vin la 11 dimineata…o sa tentez o zona centrala, sau o zona de sud.
E ciudat cum stai si nu stii ce vrei sa faci cu viitorul tau si apoi te izbeste intr-o zi…trebuie sa mergi acolo, chiar daca o sa stergi mese, chiar daca o sa faci pe dracu-n patru, chiar daca uneori o sa fi sarac lipit….nu iti poti imagina viata intr-un alt loc. Ce mai ramane de zis? Poate doar, “au revoir”….
P.S. Off topic, fetelor nu iesit niciodata pana la magazinul din cartier in slapi, cu pantalonii de trening, bluza aia cu care stai in casa, ochelari si parul prins intr-un coc, model “dezastru”. Si nu mergeti mai departe de magazinul ala pentru ca e musai sa beti laptele ala dimineata-nu e musai! Si nu va ganditi ca in timp ce stati la coada nu va intalniti cu fostul prieten (ala dupa care acum 2 luni inca mai suspinai) si nu faceti pe tampita (ca mine) sa scapati laptele pe jos, sa arborati un zambet timp si sa ii ziceti “am o oitza neagra noua (nr. breloc nou- oitza neagra). El va rade evident…nu de voi ci de situatie (sper) si va va spune ce bine e sa va vada si ce bine aratati (IRONIE CLARA!). Morala: mi-am mancat cerealele acoperita de o jena care nu s-a sters nici in acest moment!
English version:
I know i havenāt written in a while…but i have an excuse: exams…licence….and a huuuuuuuugeeeeeeee lazyness. Oh well…
Today I started cleaning my facebook e-mails (Holy facebook-i have no idee what i would do without it) and i ran into some e-mails from last summer/spring..Diana and Patricia know what iām talking about…the threesome (e-mail!)..especially those e-mails written while i was 2188 km away. And as i was reading i got to thinking and it suddenly hit me: i forgot something in France! I forgot my heart in France…and now all the linger i fel in july when i got back is going to restart…you know that linger when the food has no taste, men are pigs and anyone gets on your last nerves.
Actually the last couple of months were a state of numbness but as summer is aproaching iām starting to feel the itch to take the road again. Not Ireland…not England…not Belgium…not Spain but France (iām starting to think itās a fetish). I will not go back to the exact same spot buuuuuuttttt in another part of the frogerās country- center or maybe south.
Itās weird how you just wonder arond, not knowing what to do with yourself, with the future and then, one day, it suddenly hits you…you have to go back, even if you are going to wipe tables, clean floors, even if sometimes you will starve…you cannot immagine your life some place else. What more is there to say? Maybe just, āau revoirā….
P.S. Off topic, girls never go out, even if itās to the shop in the corner, on your street wearing flip-flops, a pair of trousers and a god-awful shirt (that shirt that you only wear in the house) and your hair ties in a horrible granny bun. And donāt go further from that store because you must buy milk and they did not have it there- itās not a necessity believe me! And donāt think that while you are waiting in line you will not bump into your ex (the ex that youāve been gasping for a long time and that stopped just two months ago) and do not be as stupid (as i was) as to drop the milk, smile like a nerd and say āi have a new black sheep (actually itās a keychain-black sheep). He will obviously laugh, not at you, at the situation (i hope) and will tell you how nice it is to see you and how good you look (CLEARLY IRONIC!) Moral: i have eaten my cereals covered in shame, a feeling that i still feel right now.
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