Back from the dead….

February 24, 2011 at 2:29 pm (Eu gandeste!, Idei/Pareri/Opinii) (, , , , , , , , )

Ce inseamna sa te trezesti dimineata si sa iti spui ca nu mai poti fizic sa stai in Romania? Iti iei ranita in spate si…pleci…departe….la vreo 2000 de km mai la vest, in Franta, mai exact la Vichy.

Ce inseamna sa te trezesti dimineata si sa iti spui ca nu mai poti sa stai fizic nici la Vichy, ca esti satula pana si sa iti vezi fata ta, zi de zi in oglinda?   Inseamna ca e vremea sa iti iei traistuta si sa pleci, din nou…unde?….la Paris.  De ce? Pentru ca de fiecare data ai nevoie de altceva, pentru ca daca stai mai mult de 6 luni locului.

Nu este zi in care sa nu ma intreb incotro ma indrept si unde o sa ma opresc? Tiganca din fire, nomada in suflet, cu un rand de fuste si multe valize ma duc la Paris…capitala…viata.

Ma intreb cat o sa dureze pana cand o sa ma satur si de orasul ala. Si atunci? Incotro sa ma mai indrept? … Cine stie? Nici macar eu….si de aia mi se pare al dracului de interesanta viata.

Am pe jos in camera o valiza facuta inca de duminica si una neterminata in care tot mai indes cate un lucru…e mereu acolo ca sa stiu ca plec in curand, poimaine chiar.

De cate ori ma uit in oglinda vad alta persoana, ma uit la masca de fond de ten si pudra pe care o pun zilnic si imi zic ca nu mai am pic de sentimente pentru nimeni, decat pentru persoanele care ma merita. Am rupt legaturile cu Romania si cu toti care nu erau importanti in viata mea…oamenii sufletului meu au ramas bine intipariti in minte si in mailuri. Restul, cum zicea bunica, apa de ploaie.

Ma uit in dulapul in care au mai ramas 2-3 camasi si ma gandesc la persoana care eram acum un an…fac bilantul si ma gandesc, imi place ce am fost? Imi place ce am devenit? Cel mai mult din toata ecuatia asta insa imi place ca plec, ca imi vad de viata si ca stiu ca orice ar fi fost in trecut viata merge inainte. Si mai stiu ca atunci cand ajung in Paris o sa fie cineva acolo pe peron sa ma stranga in brate, sa imi ia bagajul si sa ne indreptam impreuna spre superbul Bulevard Montparnasse unde o sa fiu…si ca luni dimineata o sa lucrez pe Strada Soarelui (nr Rue du Soleil).

Si stiu ca in ultimele 6 luni de cand sunt departe am evoluat mai mult decat in ultimii 6 ani cand m-am fortat sa raman blocata intr-o chestie absolut masochista.

Si mai stiti ceva? Make room because there’se a new bitch in town ;)…My life is just perfect sometimes 😉

 

ENGLISH VERSION ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

What does it mean to wake up every morning and tell yourself that you can’t bear it anymore ? You pick up your stuff and you go far far away, a bit to the west, in France, in Vichy

What does it mean to wake up every morning and  say to yourself that you can’t stay anymore in Vichy, you’re fed up with everything, even the simple fact of seing your face every day in the mirror sickens you. It’s about time to pack up and leave,…leave again…leave where ? Go to Paris ! Why ? Because every time you need someting else, because if you stay more than 6 months in one place you need something else.

There isn’t a day I don’t think about where I’m going with this…where will I go next and when will I settle down ? Gipsy soul, nomad at heart, with a whole bunch of dresses and lots of luggage I’m going to Paris…the capital…the life.

I wonder how long will it be until I get fed up with that city. And then ?  What will I do then ? Where will I go ? Who knows ? Nobody…not even me…and that’s why I fucking love this life !

On my floor lingers one of my luggage, already full since Sunday and another one in which I stash each day a small thing…it’s always there to remind me thatI’m leaving soon, actually the day after tomorrow.

Every time I look in the mirror I see a different person, I look at the concealer and powder mask that I put on each day I and tell myself I’ve got no more feeling left for no-one but the people that really deserve me. I broke all the bounds I had with Romania and with all the people that weren’t important in my life…people that are close to my heart stayed well engraved in my mind, soul and mails. The others…how my Grandma used to say…just dust in the wind.

I check out my closet where I have left only 2-3 shirts an think about the person I used to be last year…drawing the line and summing up I got to thinking…do I like what was? Do I like what I’ve become ? But the thing I like the most out of all these is that I’m moving on and whatever was in the past, stays in the past and life goes on no matter what. And I also know that when I will be in Paris there will be someone waiting for me on the platform to hug me, pick up my luggage and take me to the amazing Montparnasse Boulevard where I shall live…and that Monday morning I’ll be working on Sun Street ( NR Rue du Soleil).

And I also know that the last 6 months I’ve been gone I’ve evolved more that in the past 6 years I’ve forced myself to be stuck in a stupid masochistic thing.

Andy ou know something else ? Make room because there’se a new bitch in town ;)…My life is just perfect sometimes 😉


 


Advertisements

Permalink 6 Comments

How i had 3 strokes in 10 minutes…fuck it, i’m Wonder Woman!

July 13, 2010 at 8:45 pm (Eu gandeste!, Idei/Pareri/Opinii) (, , , , )

Francezilor le place birocratia lor…nimic nou sub soare. Cand insa se intalnesc birocratia franceza si cu Posta Romana…ei bine atunci faci 3 atacuri cerebrale in 10 minute si mai ai timp si de-un infarct corect ;). Fascinanta epopee s-a produs azi de pe la ora 1 de cand mi-am vazut in posta plicul cu actele necesare inscrierii la o facultate anume in Franta…mi-am zis “mai e light…nu e mult de completat” mi-am facut 3 cruci- prea repede! Nu mica mi-a fost mirarea sa constat ca aveam mai multe foi de completat- la care ma uitam ca vita la poarta noua dar si ca aveam de tradus (la traducator autorizat), mai aveam si de legalizat si de facut asigurari medicale( ca de ce sa se grabeasca aia de la Casa de Asigurari sa imi dea cardul de sanatate- poate il primesc si eu peste 4 luni). O sa ziceti ca ma plang aiurea ca de obicei- da dar eu am de facut toate astea in fix 3 zile- MAXIM AM SPUS! Adica mie in 13 mi-a ajuns plicul si in MAXIM 16 trebuie sa fie pe masutza baroc din secolul 19 in biroul rococo din faultatea unde sper sa ajung si eu anul asta (la cate acte mai am de completat s-ar putea sa ajung prin decembrie). Acuma…oi fi eu super organizata si descurcareata da chiar Wonder Woman nu-s…asa ca azi dupa ce am umblat ca o curca beata cateva ore crezand ca am rezolvat totul am constatat la sfarsitul zilei ca nu am facut nimic.

Ce am facut azi…i got served…big time…in primul rand de la biroul de traduceri unde de fapt nu traduceau in franceza…booon…urlam un pic la mama…urlam la un amic…ne calmam…cautam alt birou de traduceri…nimic deschis…perfect. Mergem si la posta unde o fatza de 20 de ani ma lua peste picior ca i-am cerut plic cu autocolant- zici ca i l-am cerut pe tac-su de barbat…si am intrebat in cat timp ajunge un plic par avion in tara celor 300 si ceva de soiuri de branza. Domnisoara imi arunca o privire diabolica si un ranjet si zice sec..aproximativ 3 zile. Aoleooooooooo da ce avion aveti? Ala pe care l-a testat si Aurel Vlaicu? Ciudat era ca altii de la firma de curierat (e drept ca putin mai scump sa trimit coletul) aveau avion cu reactie ca ajungea acolo a doua zi. Am incercat si la priori post unde acolo m-au asigurat ca ajunge in 2 zile…zic bun  ok si 2 zile..si imi puteti da o confirmare de primire sau ceva care sa ma asigure ca dupa ce imi provoc singura multiple atacuri cardiace ajunge coletul acolo? Pai…nu. Pai cum nu? Pai nu sunt acte importante…ca buletinul sau pasaportul sau certificatul de nastere :|… moment in care am multumit frumos, politicos si cu un traditional “de asta plec din tzara asta unde absolut toate coletele din strainatate mi-au fost deschise” am iesit mandra. Am mai urlat un pic la mama…am mai urlat un pic la un amic si mi-am revenit.Am ajuns acasa prea obosita ca sa mai imi pese de ceva.

Maine o iau de la capat…si am nevoie si de un act de la secretariat (p.s. secretarele sunt dragutze cu tine numai la inscrierea la licenta/la master)…si reiau tot procesul oooooooooo happy day! Si asta e doar birocratia franceza…aia romaneasca urmeaza…:))))

p.s. de ce le trebuie si adeverinta cu toate vaccinurile facute pana acum?…..:)))

p.p.s. mi-am cerut scuze de la mami 🙂 de la restul…NU :))))

p.p.p.s. ceaiul de menta rece calmeaza nervii :)))

Permalink 3 Comments

It’s hard letting go…it’s harder to stay…

July 6, 2010 at 9:44 pm (Eu gandeste!) (, , , , , , , )

De ce existi? Intrebarea asta mi-am pus-o de 1000 de ori…de ce trebuie sa existi si mai ales de ce esti asa blamat cand tu esti cel mai frumos lucru care a aparut vreodata in viata mea. Dar tu nu stii asta…tu stii sa zambesti zeflemitor cu buzele tale moi si reci si sa imi spui “Aport!” si eu sa iti aduc inima mea in dinti si sa ti-o pun la picioare. E atat de simplu pentru tine sa ma uiti…ma uiti in primele 5 minute de cand nu mai sunt langa tine…eu in schimb nu reusesc sa te uit de ani de zile.

Esti singurul barbat pe care il consider frumos…restul sunt apa de ploaie. Esti singurul barbat care cand ma strange in brate simt ca se opreste timpul in loc. Esti singurul barbat care mi-a rupt inima in atatea bucatele ca nu a mai ramas nimic din ea….a ramas doar sunetul inimii ce inca se mai aude din inertie. Si cu toate astea esti singurul barbat la care nu pot renunta vreodata.

De ce? Pentru ca de fiecare data cand te vad ma intaresc in certitudinea mea ca eu nu insemn nimic pentru tine…dust in the wind…si cu toate astea continui sa ma torturez cu imaginea ta.

Ce inseamna toate astea? Inseamna ca o sa te iubesc pana cand sunetul inimii va inceta si el sa se auda…pana cand pieptul si gura si ochii imi vor fi plini de pamant si de rugina si pe mine vor creste lujerii verzi si florile de camp…

English version:

Why do you even exist? I’ve asked myself this question a thousand times..why do you have to exist and why are you so hated when you are the most beautiful thing that crossed my path. But you don’t know that…you only know how to prodigiously smyle with your soft and cold lips and say „Fetch!” and i bring you my heart, bear it in my teeth and put it at your feet. It’s so simple for you to forget me..you forget I even exist the fisrt five minutes i’m not beside you anymore….and I…I can’t forget you for years.

You are the only man I consider to be beautiful…the rest are merely jokes. You are the only man that squeezes me tight and when you do i feel the time stopping just for us. You are the only man that broke my heart in so many pieces that it’s nothing left of her…the only thing remained is the sound of it beating that’s stil heard by habit. And with all these abose you are the only man i can never leave.

Why? Because each time I see you I am more and more certain of the fact that I am nothing to you…dust in the wind..and with all these I still continue to torture myself with your image.

What do all these mean? It means I shall love you until the sound of my heart will cease to be heard..until the chest and the mouth and the eyes will be full of dirt and rust and on me will grow the green stalk and wild flowers…

Permalink 2 Comments

Why 3 years of college rocked!!!

July 4, 2010 at 3:34 pm (Eu gandeste!, Idei/Pareri/Opinii) (, , , , , )

Pentru ca…pitong :)). De ce 3 ani de facultate s-au meritat…pentru ca acolo am cunoscut oameni geniali! De aceea a meritat sa stau la cursuri (yeah right..:)) ), sa fac 1 milion de proiecte si sa ma stresez la examene sau restante. Azi nu vreau sa va vorbesc despre baietii de acolo (cei foarte putini cu care mai ieseam la o cafea in Marty) ci despre “my girls”. Acum ca s-au terminat anii astia si fiecare o ia spre drumul ei ma gandesc cu groaza ca nu o sa le mai vad aproape zilnic. Fiecare s-au impartit in diverse colturi ale lumii si fiecare isi face viatza ei- care incotro :). Sper sa nu se supere ca o sa le mentionez aici si ca o sa ma iubeasca mai mult pentru ca scriu despre ele- incerc sa scriu despre ele asa cum stiu eu mai bine!

Patricia: eterna artista cu cel mai mare suflet pe care l-am cunoscut, singura persoana cu care imi place la nebunie sa impart ultima tigara rulata, care stie sa imi induca good vibes doar acordandu-si chitara, ganditoare de profesie stie ca tot ce zboara nu se mananca in timp ce isi pastreaza aerul boem si pofta de viata,exceleaza in tot ceea ce face- de la proiecte profesionale pana la un banal legat de sireturi- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you 😦

Raluca: cea care m-a invatzat ca esentele tari se tin in sticlute mici, cea mai curajoasa, stubborn, self-sufficient si adorata persoana de pe planeta! Femeia care stie ca nu iti construiesti viata cu compromisuri, femeia in fatza careia ma inclin in timp ce ea isi face bagajul si pleaca spre o viata mai buna. Cele mai frumoase ore petrecute de mult timp- vinerea asta- la cinema cu ea (perfect night my love)- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you 😦

Cristina: Femeia la care ma uit cu o mare admiratie,  “ce vrei sa te faci cand vei fi mare?”- “vreau sa ma fac Cristina”, spiritul boem, felul de a fi pana si vestimentatia impun respect si o stare de bine, impartim aceeasi pasiune pentru pictarea pielii. Genul de persoana care ajunge sa iti zambeasca ca sa te farmece (cu ochi- si mai nou ochelari- de pisica…. cade, la fel ca animalul mai sus mentionat, mereu in picioare)- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you 😦

Cristinutza: pentru ca e mica si a dracu’ dom’le, pentru ca o cunosc si iubesc inca din anul intai, pentru ca stie sa se comporte ca o profesionista adevarata, pentru ca am avut-o colega si de chefuri nu doar de radio si facultate, pentru ca nimeni nu stie zice mai frumos “esti varza” sau “Ancush”, pentru ca in acesti 3 ani de facultate si-a castigat cu prisosinta “pasaportul” si acum vrea sa plece de aici :), pentru simplul fapt ca mi-a fumat tigarile miercuri (sac, sac!)- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you 😦

Oana: Cu sufletul ei mare si scump (nu, Oana, nu ma refer la bust!!!), care a avut de suferit- numai ea stie cat- si noi! de pe urma facultatii, si ea vrea sa plece. Mereu cu o vorba buna, inca din anul 1, pentru ca are aceeasi adoratie pentru Vaju ca si mine, pentru ca stie cand sa nu se dea batuta si cand sa se petreaca, pentru ca are incredere in ea si pentru ca stie ca o admir pentru ce este, pentru ca inca din anul 1 ne alintam cu “pisi”- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you.

Si ar mai fi si alte colege- dragi mie- nu v-am uitat, si da, imi curge o lacrima pe obraz (una, doua, trei) cand ma gandesc ca de acum nu vom fi in formatie completa la bere si nu vom mai avea eternele discutii care inevitabil ajungeau la….ma rog, stiti voi la ce, nu dau din casa ;). Va iubesc pe toate si sper ca in orice colt al pamantului va veti stabili veti fi fericite!

English version:

Why 3 years of college were worth it…because there i’ve met awesome people! That’s why it was worth sitting in classes (yeah right…:)) ), doing about 1 billion projects and stressing myself with exams and re-evaluations. But today i don’t wish to speak about the boys but about „my girls”. Now that there years are all done and each is going on her separate way i got to thinking that i will not see them almost daily. We’re all shattered in different cornes of the World and each and  every one makes something of her life in a different part. I hope they will not be bothered that i am writing about them and that they shall love me more for writing about them- trying to write at my best!

Patricia: the eternal artist, the biggest soul i have ever met, the only person with whom i love to share my last cigarette, that know how to induce good vibes just by touching her guitar, a thinker by profession, she know that everything that flyes is not neccesarily good to eat, meanwhile she lingers in a bohemian state and her love of life, she excells in everything she does- from professionnal projects to tying her shoelace- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you 😦

Raluca: the one that taught me that the strongest essences are kept in small bottles, the bravest, stubborn, self-sufficient and adored person on the planet! The woman know that you don’t build your life on compromises, the woman in front of which i take off my hat while she is packing and going towards a better life. The best hours spent in a looong time- this Friday, at the cinema, with her (perfect night my love)- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you 😦

Cristina: The woman whom i look at and have a great deal of admiration, „what do you want to be when you grow up? „i want to be just like Cristina”, her bohemian spirit, the way she is, even the way she dresses says :respect and a good state of mind, we share the same passion for inking our skin. The type of person that is enough to smile to get you hooked on her (with eyes- and glasses- of a cat…she falls just like one, always on her feet)- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you 😦

Cristinutza: because she is small and evil J, because i know and love her ever since the first year, because she knows how to be a real professionnal, because she was a true collegue at the partyes not only at college and radio, because nobody says it better than her „esti varza” or „Ancush”, becuse in these 3 years she gained her „passport” and now she want to get out of here J, for the simple fact that she smoked Wednesday my cigarettes- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you 😦

Oana: With her big heart and dear soul (no, Oana, I am not reffering to your breasts!), that suffered a lot because of the college in these 3 years, and for the fact that she, also, wants to go. Always had a good word and the same adoration for Vaju as me, because she know when not to give up and when to party hard, because she trusts herself and because she know i admire her for what she is, because since the first year we used a cuddle name „kitty” one for another- she is indeed a true friend…i shall miss you.

There are some other collegues of course- dear to my heart- i did not forget you and yes, a tear is dripping down my cheek as i’m thinking that we shan’t be in a complete formation drinking a beer and having those talks that inevitably lead to…well you know what ;). I love you all and I hope that wherever you shall be you will be happy!


Permalink 1 Comment

I did it! <3

June 18, 2010 at 10:08 pm (Eu gandeste!) (, , , )

Stau in pat intr-o pozitie contorsionata si incerc sa scriu…because…I DID IT! Mi l-am facut…tatuajul mult visat, mult dorit, mult mult mult. Stateam azi in timp ce mi-l faceam (cand nu il injuram in gand pe saracul om ca de ce insista pe litera aia asa mult) ca vor fi unii care vor zice ce dizgratios e…ce urat e sa ai un tatuaj,,,modelul e aiurea..si m-am gandit ca nu imi pasa!

2010 a fost pana acum un an de incercare in care anumite limite mi-au fost testate. tatuajul asta o sa imi aminteasca mereu de ce a fost si de ceea ce voi fi. Suntem suma experientelor noastre mai mult sau mai putin fericite.

Dar sa revenim la chestii mai interesante…maine ma duc la bunici sa ma relaxez. Nu stiu cati dintre voi aveti bunici si ii vedeti dar eu sunt topita dupa bunica mea, mi-e dor de ea in fiecare zi! Ea e buni care face placinta chiar daca are mana luxata, care te inveleste in fiecare seara, care iti spune “soarele meu”, care ma strange tare in brate si imi spune cat ma iubeste, care ma pomeneste zilnic in rugaciunile ei. La asta ma duc maine…la starea de bine inainte de licenta ( de care sa nu mai aud 3 zile!!!).

Va las dragii mei ca trebuie sa ma dau cu crema. Acum e vis…sa vedeti cand o sa se faca o crusta frumoasa…cum ma mai aplec? :))

English version:

I am sitting in bed in a tantric, extreme position and trying towrite…because I DID IT! I got a tattoo, the long-dreamed tattoo, the so wanted, craved for tattoo. I was sitting there while getting my skin inked (when i was not cursing the guy for bolding every inch of that fucking letter) that there will be voices saying that it’s ugly, that it sucks, that my tattoo is plain and stupid…and you know what…I DON’ T CARE!!!!

2010 was a very hard year for me…demanding and where boundaries and limits were pushed to extreme. This tattoo wwill remind me forever what i was and what i am about to become. We are the sum of our experiences some more or less fortunate.

But to get back to some more important stuff…tomorrow i’m heading down to grandma’s (little red ridding hood style :)) )..to relax. I don’t know if you have a granny or if you see her but i am copletly and utterly charmed by mine. She is granny which makes pies even is she has her hand twisted, that tucks me in every night, that says with a smile „you are my sun”, that holds me tight , that prays for me every night and tell me every day how much she loves me. This is where i am heading to…good state of mind and relaxation before the licence (nobody shall mention that horrid thing for 3 days!!!)

My dears gtg now….apply the creeeeeeme. Now it’s peachy but just wait untill the beautiful crust…how shall i bend? :))

Permalink 4 Comments

Going back to France to get my heart

June 1, 2010 at 9:09 pm (Idei/Pareri/Opinii) (, , , , , , , , )

Iar n-am scris de mult timp dar am o sfanta scuza: licentza…examene…si o leneeeeeeee da o lene de ma doare. In fine…

Azi m-am apucat sa imi fac curat prin mail-urile din Facebook (Holy Facebook- nush ce m-as face fara el) si am dat peste mailuri de azi-vara, de azi-primavara de bla bla bla….Diana si Patricia stiu despre ce mailuri vorbesc…alea in 3 🙂 dar si alea in doua in special alea in care ele erau in Romania si eu la 2188 de km mai la vest. Si citeam eu ca tot omul si la un moment dat ma paleste….bah eu am uitat ceva in Franta! Mi-am uitat acolo inimioara…si de acum iar o sa inceapa linger-ul ala in care mancarea nu mai are gust, barbatii sunt porci si oricine ma calca pe nervi.

De fapt in ultimele luni a fost o stare de acalmie in care am trait insa cum vine vara cum ma mananca in talpa sa plec iar. Dar nu in Irlanda…nu in Anglia…nu in Belgia…nu in Spania etc…in Franta (incep sa cred ca am un fetis). Nu o sa ma intorc tot unde am fost, ci in mod sigur in alta parte a tarii unde e foarte ok sa bei vin la 11 dimineata…o sa tentez o zona centrala, sau o zona de sud.

E ciudat cum stai si nu stii ce vrei sa faci cu viitorul tau si apoi te izbeste intr-o zi…trebuie sa mergi acolo, chiar daca o sa stergi mese, chiar daca o sa faci pe dracu-n patru, chiar daca uneori o sa fi sarac lipit….nu iti poti imagina viata intr-un alt loc. Ce mai ramane de zis? Poate doar, “au revoir”….

P.S. Off topic, fetelor nu iesit niciodata pana la magazinul din cartier in slapi, cu pantalonii de trening, bluza aia cu care stai in casa, ochelari si parul prins intr-un coc, model “dezastru”. Si nu mergeti mai departe de magazinul ala pentru ca e musai sa beti laptele ala dimineata-nu e musai! Si nu va ganditi ca in timp ce stati la coada nu va intalniti cu fostul prieten (ala dupa care acum 2 luni inca mai suspinai) si nu faceti pe tampita (ca mine) sa scapati laptele pe jos, sa arborati un zambet timp si sa ii ziceti “am o oitza neagra noua (nr. breloc nou- oitza neagra). El va rade evident…nu de voi ci de situatie (sper) si va va spune ce bine e sa va vada si ce bine aratati (IRONIE CLARA!). Morala: mi-am mancat cerealele acoperita de o jena care nu s-a sters nici in acest moment!

English version:

I know i haven’t written in a while…but i have an excuse: exams…licence….and a huuuuuuuugeeeeeeee lazyness. Oh well…

Today I started cleaning my facebook e-mails (Holy facebook-i have no idee what i would do without it) and i ran into some e-mails from last summer/spring..Diana and Patricia know what i’m talking about…the threesome (e-mail!)..especially those e-mails written while i was 2188 km away. And as i was reading i got to thinking and it suddenly hit me: i forgot something in France! I forgot my heart in France…and now all the linger i fel in july when i got back is going to restart…you know that linger when the food has no taste, men are pigs and anyone gets on your last nerves.

Actually the last couple of months were a state of numbness but as summer is aproaching i’m starting to feel the itch to take the road again. Not Ireland…not England…not Belgium…not Spain but France (i’m starting to think it’s a fetish). I will not go back to the exact same spot buuuuuuttttt in another part of the froger’s country- center or maybe south.

It’s weird how you just wonder arond, not knowing what to do with yourself, with the future and then, one day, it suddenly hits you…you have to go back, even if you are going to wipe tables, clean floors, even if sometimes you will starve…you cannot immagine your life some place else. What more is there to say? Maybe just, „au revoir”….

P.S. Off topic, girls never go out, even if it’s to the shop in the corner, on your street wearing flip-flops, a pair of trousers and a god-awful shirt (that shirt that you only wear in the house) and your hair ties in a horrible granny bun. And don’t go further from that store because you must buy milk and they did not have it there- it’s not a necessity believe me! And don’t think that while you are waiting in line you will not bump into your ex (the ex that you’ve been gasping for a long time and that stopped just two months ago) and do not be as stupid (as i was) as to drop the milk, smile like a nerd and say „i have a new black sheep (actually it’s a keychain-black sheep). He will obviously laugh, not at you, at the situation (i hope) and will tell you how nice it is to see you and how good you look (CLEARLY IRONIC!) Moral: i have eaten my cereals covered in shame, a feeling that i still feel right now.

Permalink 5 Comments

Freddy Krueger ain’t got s**t on me!

May 17, 2010 at 8:02 pm (Idei/Pareri/Opinii, Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

Iar am inceput sa simt noptile…si nu in sensul bun. Nu stiu cati dintre voi ati avut un cosmar vreodata, dar unul din acela alambicat, satzios care iti ramane in minte si in bataile inimii cu mult dupa ce v-ati trezit? Eu de 4 nopti sunt torturata, chinuita, stresata…si nu in sensul bun! 😀 de 4 nopti mi-au pornit iar cosmarurile.

Ca sa 0 iau de la inceput (cum as putea sa o iau de la capat), totul a inceput la 1700 cand stra-stra-straaaaaaaa bunicul meu Vasile a Cucului…nu,nu asta era povestea. Fiind baiet paduri cutreieram….nici asta nu e. Aaaaa mi-am amintit, totul a inceput in septembrie anul trecut, la vreo 2 luni dupa ce m-am intors pe plaiuri mioritice. La inceput visam doar crampeie de cosmaruri (despre ce chiar nu va spun – atata vreau sa mentionez ca Freddy Krueger ain’t got shit on me!), pe urma au inceput sa se lege imaginile, copiii cu fete de demoni, sfasierile in carnea vie care ma durea si dupa ce ma trezeam si alte si alte imagini diabolice. Imaginati-va dragi cititori ca am ajuns pana acolo ca in fiecare noapte imi faceam un intreg film cap-coada, cunosteam pana si personajele din vis.Cat a durat “distractia?”- 6 luni! :))

Noapte de noapte timp de 6 luni am avut cosmaruri…care s-au oprit brusc,nici eu nu stiu de ce.De 4 nopti insa iar imi derulez in cap filme de groaza. Si abia acum incepe the real fun! 😀 Am incercat de toate…intai cu leacuri babesti: ceiutz de levantica, ceiutz “Dormi bine” dupa care aveam dimineata niste cearcane mai ceva ca Sfanta Filofteia, lapte cald, povesti frumoase citite inainte de culcare, gandit la pasuni/oitze/purcelushi….inevitabil noaptea aveam cosmar. Am inceput cu treburi mai grele…rugaciuni, descantece,popi, medici si alte treburi- rezultat NEXAM.

Si in acest moment aproape am atins disperarea. O sa incep sa ma duc la manastiri, sa bat zeci de matanii, sa tin post negru, sa ma spovedesc. Daca nu merge ma indop cu pastile din care rad toata ziulica. In ultima instanta ma duc la Baba Safta si aia imi descanta imi canta si imi rascanta si poate asa pot dormi si eu ca tot omul. Si pot dormi si restul din casa…care se obisnuisera relativ cu urlete in miez de noapte, foit in pat pana ajung sa ma sufoc cu perna, sange care curge din nas si scuturaturi mai ceva ca in The Exorcist.

Si ca sa ajung la sfarsitul problemei…eu nu stiu ce sa mai fac, ca nici un leac nu a dat roade si tot mai des ma bate gandul sa ma retrag la o manastire (chic) din Franta unde sa pot medita-daca tot am cosmaruri macar sa o fac cu stil!

P.S. Cand am vazut “Nightmare on Elm street” am inceput sa ma gandesc…Freddy Krueger ain’t got shit on me! :)) Si da…pot sa fac o treaba mult mai buna decat el….dare me??? 😀

English version:

Yesterday I started to „feel” again the nights…and not in the good way. I don’t know how many of you ever had a nightmare, a creepy one, a strong one that rests in your mind and in the beatings of the heart long before you’re awake? For 4 nights I am a tortured woman, a tormented woman, a stressed woman and not in a good way! 😀 For 4 nights my nightmares started to roll again.

To take it from the top…everything began in 1700 when my great great great grandfather Vasile a Cucului…no, that’s not it. When I was just I little girl I asked my mother what will I be…no that’s not it either! Aaaaa I remember, it all started last september, 2 months after I returned home. At first I only dreamt glimpses of nightmare (what I dreamt about I dare not say-I just wanna mention that Freddy Krueger ain’t got shit on me!), after they started to make more sense, the images started to tie into children with demon faces, ripping skin that hurt even after i woke up and other diabolical images. Imagine my dear readers that it got to the point that i made an entire movie in my head, from top to bottom, I even knew the characters in my dreams. How much did this „fun” last?- 6 months! :))

Every night for 6 months I had nightmares…that stopped all of a sudden, I don’t even know why. But for 4 nights I started to roll the movies again. And now the real fun can begin!:D I tried everything…good old nature stuff: lavender tea, „Good Sleep” tea – in the morning I had huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge rings, hot milk, nice bedtime stories, thinking of greener pastures/sheep/piglets…but still I had nightmares. I started then with the „heavy stuff”….praying, magic,priests, doctors and other stuff- result 0!

I have reached desperation at this point. I shall start frequenting monasteries, start feasting, praying, confessing. Another idea would be to overdose the pills and laugh all day. Finally, I can try to go to a witch, maybe she can cast a good spell and I can sleep normally. And the others could sleep normally…even tough they are used to screams in the middle of the night, constant fidgeting until I suffocate with the pillow, bloody nose and The Exorcist moves and groves.

To get to the bottom of the issue…I do not know what to do, this has no cure and I think more and more to retire to a (chic) convent in France where I can meditate-if I still have nightmares at least I should do it with style!

P.S. When I saw „Nightmare on Elm Street” I got to thinking…Freddy Krueger ain’t got shit on me! :)) And yes…i can do a better job than..dare me??? 😀



Permalink 4 Comments

Graduation

May 10, 2010 at 4:39 pm (Eu gandeste!, Idei/Pareri/Opinii) (, , , , , , , , , )

Sambata am terminat…cu ce, inca nu stiu ca scoala sigur mai am, examene 100% mai trebuie sa le trec si ma mai asteapta o scumpa licenta de prezentat/finalizat.

Stateam in timpul mirobolantei festivitati de absolvire (ca de obicei nu realizam ce mi se intampla- cand particip la un eveniment important nu realizez de regula ce mi se intampla) si ma intrebam unde mi s-au dus cei 3 ani de facultate? Ce au insemnat acestea pentru mine?

Au fost: examene picate,examene luate, lacrimi, zambete despartiri, plecari, reintregiri, reintalniri, pierderea unei persoane dragi, cunoastinte noi, prieteni pe viata, oameni exceptionali pe care nu credeam ca o sa ii cunosc vreodata, tone de carti citite, atata radio cat sa imi ajunga dar sa nu ma satur veci, stres, si mai mult stres, evenimentul vietii mele, maturizare brusca, rasete din inima, profesori pe care ii iubesc din suflet, profesori pe care prima oara i-am vazut la festivitate, multa invidie, multa rautate, multi oameni care imi vor binele, multi oameni care m-ar vedea moarta, multe iesiri in oras, rauri intregi de cafea, nopti albe si nu numai din cauza studiului, cluburi,o mie de frizuri si culori noi, baruri, cafeaua de dimineata, proiectele pentru care nu intelegi cerintele, mers la examene direct din club, deschiderea mintii, deschiderea orizontului….VIATA!

Urmeaza:…..??????????????…….si ador ca nu stiu ce o sa se intample chiar daca uneori ma streseaza. Viata e mult mai frumoasa daca nu stii ce urmeaza. Pot sa fac orice atata timp cat am toata viata inainte si surasul pe buze. Stiu ca orice as ajunge sa fac nu o sa ma dezamagesc niciodata si ca o sa ma fac mereu fericita- asta e promisiunea mea catre mine!

P.S. Multumesc celor cativa colegi pe care chiar am ajuns sa ii cunosc si sa ii iubesc- se stiu ei, si profesorilor ce m-au invatat ca nimic in viata nu se obtine usor! Thank you and goodbye!….acestea fiind spuse ne vedem la BANCHET 😀 😀 😀


English version:

Saturday I graduated…what? i have no ideea….i still have school, exams that i must pass and a dear old MBA to finish.

I was sitting during the almighty graduation (as usual not realising what’s happening to me- usually when i attend important events i don’t realise what’s up) and i was wondering, where did the 3 years go? What did all this mean to me?

There were: failed exams, passed exams, tears, smiles, break-ups, departures, reunites, meetings, losing someone i loved, meeting new people, friends for life, exceptional people which i did not think i would be able to meet in a lifetime, tons of books i read, so much radio that would last forr a lifetime but i wound never get tired of, stress, even more stress, the event of my life, sudden growing up, heart-felt laughters, teachers that i love with all my heart, teachers that i first saw at graduation, a lot of envy, a lot of mean stuff, a lot of people that mean only good things, a lot of people who wish i was dead, a lot of going out, rivers of coffee, white nights and not only because of study, clubs, bars, a thousand different colours and hairstyles, morning coffee, projects done even when you don’t understant the demands, going to exams straight from the club, opening the mind, opening to new horizons…..LIFE!

Next:…………??????????????????…………and i love not knowing what’s going to happen even if sometimes it stresses me out. Lofe is much more beautiful when you don’t konw what’s next. I can do anything while i have my whole life in front of me and a smile on my lips.And i know that anything i shall do with my life i will never let myself down and i will always make myself happy- this is my promiss to me!

P.S. I wanna thank the few colleagues that i really got to know and love, and the teachers that taught me- nothing in life is easy to get! Thank you and goodbye!….that being said, see you at PROM! 😀 😀 😀

Permalink 2 Comments

It sucks to be blind!

April 28, 2010 at 5:50 pm (Eu gandeste!, Idei/Pareri/Opinii) (, , , , , , , )

Pretzuitzi cititori ai blogului meu, nu stiu cati dintre voi va confruntati cu probleme de vedere. Eu sunt partially blind cum m-am obisnuit deja sa afirm. Adica am ochelari din clasa a 2-a  si la 22 de ani pot spune ca am atins performanta de -4 si -4,25 adica nu vad la distanta, adica nu vad si ma izbesc de toti copacii.

Ceea ce incerc sa afirm eu aici este ca ce am patit azi este desprins dintr-un episod din Seinfeld. M-am dus azi la oftalmolog pentru ca eu purtatoare de lentile inca de la 14 ani brusc am inceput sa nu ma mai inteleg cu ele. Am stat cuminte si mi-am asteptat randul, ceea ce evident nu au inteles cardul de babe, babaciuni si babatii care au inceput sa urle la mine ca de ce le intru in fata, ca sunt o nesimtita si bla bla. Acuma…cu batranii eu am o problema, dom’le unde se grabesc toti? Adica babaciunile de acolo erau din spital- se grabeau sa ajunga inapoi in pat? Ma duc la doctor care ma pune la toate aparatele dupa care ii zice asistentei sa ma dilate de 5 ori- SA MA CE? SI DE CATE ORI??? Oh my god! Picaturile acelea care te ustura de zici ca te-ai frecat ore in sir cu chilli in ochi si care iti fac pupilele de 20 de ori mai mari decat iti sunt. M-a picurat tanti asistenta…m-am dilatat mai ceva ca o gravida pe cale sa nasca si pe urma a inceput distractia! :))

Sa merg vizavi sa imi verifice nush ce…vizavi insemna sa trec strada, acuma ma intreb cum dracu nu vezi un camion mare alb ca vine inspre tine cu viteza?- simplu, perceptia profunzimii iti este complet tampita de la picaturile alea. Ma injura omul, eu imi fac 10 cruci si ma reped pe scari in sus, ma reped si deschid usa cu capu plonjand cu drag pe burta la optica dupa care zambesc frumos si scot cea mai tampita fraza posibila “stiti…eu am probleme cu ochii”. Domnisoara insa a fost extrem de draguta si m-a si trecut strada inapoi la medic. Ajung acolo dupa ce m-am batut de toate usile si de toti peretii si doctorul se gandeste sa ma mai dilate inca o data, ca parca nu mi-a acoperit complet pupila irisul, a mai ramas un sfert de milimetru- dupa care mi-a bagat o lumina puternica in ochi sa vada numai el stie ce. Mi-am pus lentilele in ochi si am sperat ca o sa vad ceva mai mult-vax patina, in afara de culori si ceva forme nu vedeam nici pe dracu. Partea funny a fost cand am iesit ( cand am intrat aveam ochelarii, cand am iesit aveam lentilele pe ochi) si babele extaziate “doctoru asta te vindeca de vedere”- am ras bine, m-am mai bagat in 3 oameni si am iesit afara in strada. Aici a inceput odiseea gasirii unui taxi.

M-am batut de absolut toti care treceau pe strada aia extrem de ingusta si de puternic circulata. Imi ceream scuze de la toata lumea, ma ploua, am picat in popou si pentru o clipa am vrut sa plang ca un copil inciudat dar m-am ridicat si am continuat cautarea taxiului. M-am mai izbit de vreo suta de oameni dupa care am ajuns sa imi cer scuze de la un copac…extrem de penibil…incercam sa imi cer scuze de la altcineva pe care tocmai calcasem da persoana plecase.

Moment penibil 2 un tip cute…adica banui ca era cute dracu stia la cat vedeam…mirosea bine cel putin 😀  l-am luat de mana si i-am zis ft romantic: du-ma la primul taxi. Ori omul credea ca ii propun pronosaguri, ori ma invarteam eu in cerc de 10 minute da el a gasit ft repede taxi. O fi vrut el sa mai zica ceva da eu urlam deja la taximetrist sa ma duca acasa. Appo…apreciez ca mi-a dat restul corect desi eu ma incapatanam sa il imbogatesc…acasa mi-am dat seama cat voiam sa ii las bacis…si era cam mult :)). Pana sus m-am urcat mai mult in patru labe si stand in fata usii care nu a vrut nicicum sa se deschida cu puterea mintii m-am gandit ca nu am deloc simtul gaurii…guys i feel you! :))

P.S. Multumesc dragului ce a fost azi pe la mine si m-a ajutat sa imi aprind tigara si nu sprancenele

P.P.S. Luni trebuie sa ma duc din nou la ofta…ohhhh the HORROR!!!! 😦



Permalink 6 Comments

I shall always be a kid!

April 21, 2010 at 5:29 pm (Idei/Pareri/Opinii, Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Cred..nu, de fapt sint sigura ca nu o sa ma maturizez niciodata, ca o sa raman un copil in adancul sufletului. 😀 De ce? Motivele sunt numeroase si cine ma cunoaste stie ca asa sunt si nu m-as schimba niciodata! Exemple de kindereli:

  • Cand ajung intr-un magazin de haine totdeauna o sa ma reped spre ce e mai colorat, mai imbulinat, mai plin de forme geometrice, chestii care au ursuleti-porcusori-iepurasi si alte animalute pe ele. Sentimentul de exultare este mereu ucis de catre persoana cu care ma duc la shopping si mai niciodata nu ajung sa imi cumpar chestiile alea.
  • Pantofii mei preferati sunt balerinii! Am…multi 🙂 am enorm de multi balerini si nu pot sa trec printr-un magazin de pantofi fara sa imi iau asa ceva. Cu cat mai colorati, mai “infunditzatzi” cu atat mai bine.
  • Totdeauna trebuie sa se faca exact cum vreau eu si nu cum vrea altcineva si daca nu se face cum vreau eu se merge de la scandal pana la lacrimi de crocodil pentru a obtine ce vreau.
  • Ritualul somnului e sfant :)) dorm intr-o pijama cu Snoopy si in brate cu o oitza de plush in asternuturi rosii cu buburuze….comentariile sunt de prisos aici 😀
  • Ador dulciurile pana la extrem, absolut orice intra in categoria dulciuri imi place si daca incep o ciocolata nu pot sa o las din mana pana nu termin si ultima bucata.
  • Inca mai imi plac jocurile…si nu numai alea pe calculator.
  • Inca mai cred in Mos Craciun :D.
  • Cand mi-e foarte somn incep sa ma matzai si sa ma marai.
  • Inca ma mai sperie cosmarurile ( and i do have some bad ass nightmares sometimes)
  • Iubitul meu trebuie sa fie cineva matur-daca e la fel de copil ca mine dam chix. Ce se intampla cand mie imi vin idei stupide din senin: “Hai sa facem planorism in timp ce mancam inghetata”.
  • Tot timpul imi pun intrebari stupide :” Oare cati oameni se nasc pe Pamant fix in acest moment?”, ” Ce se intampla daca incrucisezi o oaie cu un porc?”, “Cum sa il oblig pe tata sa ne luam un purcel modificat genetic ce ramane mereu mic?”…s.a.m.d …you get the point 😉
  • Ador desenele animate si rad ca nebuna la “Wacky races”, “Copiii de la 402″, ” Dexter’s Laboratory” si eternul “Tom si Jerry”. Inca mai traiesc cu aceeasi intensitate copilareasca animatiile si pot sa revad a mia oara “Veronica” sau “Veronica se intoarce”. Si ma bucur sincer cand vad toate acestea, exact ca un copil 😉
  • Si nu in ultimul rand sunt un copil pentru ca mereu ma voi considera daddy’s girl. E omul ce reuseste sa ma intimideze chiar daca suntem aproape de aceeasi inaltime. E cel pentru care ma maimutaresc in fel si chip doar ca sa ii scot un zambet. Si singurul care ma face sa rad din inima ca atunci cand eram pui de om. Si appo de asta,nu doar eu observat calitatea mea de daddy’s little girl ci si bibliotecara de la Goga care m-a intrebat duios :” Ai venit cu taticul la biblioteca?” la care nu am avut ce sa raspund decat sa arborez un zambet tamp si sa spun “da”.

Ador absolut fiecare secunda in care pot sa ma prostesc ca la 5 ani desi am 22, ador sa fug in picioarele goale vara in iarba si sa sar imbracata in lac, ador sa nu trebuiasca sa am notiunea timpului si sa nu fiu incorsetata de “trebuie”. I love my life…:)

P.S. Sunt un copil pentru ca sincer cred ca exista un Fat Frumos pe cal alb si ca o sa sarut multi broscoi pana sa ajung la el :D.

English version:

I think…no actually I’m sure I will never grow up, I shall always remain a child deep down 😀 Why? The motives are numerous and whoever is around me knows I am like that and I shall never change! Examples that I am a brat:

  • When I go into a store I will always pick the most colourful, geometric-printed, striped, full of bunnies- little pigs- bears stuff. The joy of buying those things is usually killed by the one whom I am shopping, and I rarely get to buy the kids stuff that I want.
  • My favourite shoes are flat sandals! I have lots of ’em 😀 I have a huge stock of sandals and I can’t just walk out of a shoe store empty-handed. The more colourful the better! That’s my moto.
  • Everything must be done exactly the way i want it and if it doesn’t go my way there is a scandal…there shall be tears (crocodile ones-but still tears :D), everything in order to get what I want.
  • For me the sleep ritual is sacred :P. I sleep in a Snoopy pijama and in my arms I must have my toy sheep. Oh…did I mention my sheets are red with ladybugs?….no commet please! J)
  • I adore candy up to extreme, absolutely every piece of candy i just love and if I start a bar of chocolate I must finish it! (obsesive-compulsive)
  • I still love games…and not only computer games
  • I still believe there is a Santa Claus 😀
  • When I am really tired I get sobby and spoiled.
  • I still get scared by nightmares and i do have some bad ass nightmares sometimes)
  • My boyfriend must be mature- if he is a child, like me we don’t work. I mean, what happens when I get a stupid ideea like:” Let’s do gliding while eating ice-cream”-someone has to stop me!
  • I always ask myslef stupid questions:” How many people are born in this same minute on Earth?”, „What happens if you cross a pig and a sheep?”,”How can I get my dad to buy me a genetically modified pig that never grows?” etc…you get the point ;).
  • And last but not least I am a kid because I shall always consider myself as my daddy’s girl. He’s the only man that can intimidate me even if we’re almost the same height. He’s the man for whom I can make a fool of myself just to get a glipse of a smile. And he is the only one who can make me laugh like crazy just like when I was just a child. And by the way, people notice that because the librarian asked me one day : „Did you came here with your daddy?”…i literally had no answer besides a stupid smile and a „yes”.

I love every second when I can make an ass of myself just like when I was 5 even if I’m 22, I love to run barefoot in the grass and to jumped all dressed in a lake, I love not to be obliged to have a time notion and not to feel burdend by the hands of time. I love my life…:)

P.S. I am a child because I believe there exists a Prince Charming and that I have to kiss a lot of frogs before he gets here :D.

Permalink 7 Comments

« Previous page · Next page »